Why Has Every Position in the Old Divine Court Fallen to the Mortal Realm?

They say the bigwigs at the “Tribulation Affairs Bureau” took a bribe and let a little two-hundred-year-old snake become a god. The Divine Court was furious and sent heavenly soldiers to capture it.

But the heavenly soldiers hadn't even undergone tribulations when they ascended. They'd clearly taken a special route, and couldn't even beat a mere two-hundred-year-old snake. It wreaked havoc in the Celestial Palace... At the Demon Execution Terrace, the God-Smiting Whip and Demon-Slaying Blade had both vanished without a trace.

The will of Heaven took form and decided to remake the world, but Heaven itself didn't know who had pulled off a switcheroo. The “Eye of the Azure Heavens,” which watched over the Three Realms, turned out to be fake.

The God of Marriage's red thread must have been taken over by the God of Wealth. The God of Wealth's merit box had been replaced by a “Human Emperor Banner.” You have to pay for love, and make a fortune by plundering...

In the mortal world, a divine position bought for three hundred yuan turns out to be real. A young girl says she's the Jade Pool Empress. A boy grows three eyes and thinks he's the reincarnation of Erlang Shen, but he has no idea his eyes were stolen...

Of course, it could all just be fantasies dreamed up by chuunibyou boys and girls, brought on by the stress of the college entrance exams.

(Please don't treat this as orthodox mythology.)