The Spider Demon Steamrolls Marvel: Thanos Is Nothing

[Marvel] [The Boys] [Unexpected Spider-Man] [Power Fantasy] [Antihero] [Wild Imagination]

The story takes place after No Way Home:

Doctor Strange casts a spell that makes the whole world forget who Spider-Man is.

Then everyone decides that Bai Ye is Spider-Man.

Bai Ye: ??

I’m a ten-thousand-year-old spider demon from the Spider Cave!!!

Web-shooters? One strand of my natural silk can slice through dimensions.

Spider-Sense? My demonic awareness covers half the galaxy.

“With great power comes great responsibility”? I have infinite lifespans. I just want to lie flat, okay!

The Scorpion comes looking for trouble? One strand of demonic silk, and he’s skewered like a candied hawthorn.

Damage Control comes to surround me? I wrap the whole building up in a cocoon.

Thor charges at me? Just a little electric rat. I flick him away with one finger.

Homelander thinks I stole his spotlight, so I send him straight off to be reborn and drink milk!

Everyone crowds around Bai Ye: “Silk White Man! You’re our hero!”

Peter Parker, standing behind the crowd, stamps his foot in frustration: “That’s not Spider-Man! I am!”

MJ gently takes Bai Ye’s hand: “Darling, you make me proud!”

Bai Ye yawns. “No... I’m a spider demon, not Spider-Man, I swear!”