I Slacked Off and Got My Thoughts Read, Now the Dog Emperor Begs Me to Be His Imperial Preceptor

[Transmigrate into a book + mind-reading + pocket dimension + absurd comedy + unconventional palace intrigue + hilarious + everyone going crazy]

Lin Qiaoqiao transmigrates into a palace-intrigue novel as a low-ranking concubine who won’t survive three episodes. From the start, she’s summoned to the emperor’s bedchamber.

Looking at the famously violent emperor before her, she decides to give up and let things happen, while unleashing a spirited rant in her mind: [He looks like a fine specimen of a man, but too bad he’s impotent. He’s barely middle-aged and has already wrecked his body chasing KPIs. What a tragedy, what a tragedy!]

On the dragon throne, the emperor is about to lose his temper when he suddenly freezes.

From then on, he discovers a new hobby: secretly listening to this little concubine’s thoughts.

The Noble Consort sends her poison. Lin Qiaoqiao appears deeply grateful, but thinks: [Crane’s Crown Red! Perfect fertilizer for the poisonous plants in my pocket dimension. Thanks for the rocket, bestie!] The next day, the Noble Consort’s face is covered in colorful mushrooms.

The empress frames her for stealing the phoenix seal. Lin Qiaoqiao weeps prettily, but thinks: [This stupid seal isn’t even worth as much as a brick in my pocket dimension. I’ll put the real one under her bed, then leave a steamed bun to tempt her!] The next day, the phoenix seal and half a steamed bun are found in the empress’s palace.

Lin Qiaoqiao only wants to be a salted fish, eating her fill and waiting to die, but the emperor keeps visiting her palace every day. He does nothing but listen to her “solo comedy routine” over his meals.

Lin Qiaoqiao: [I’m so sick of this! If you come here to freeload again, I’ll plant sweet potatoes on your dragon throne!]

The next day, the civil and military officials stare in stunned silence as a lush green sweet potato vine sprouts from the armrest of the dragon throne.

The emperor: “Approved. You can plant the whole empire!”