I am the Golden Cudgel, yes, the 13,500-pound Dinghai Divine Needle. You may not believe it, but I married Sun Wukong.
Daily life after marriage is like a "Monkey Stick". When he goes out to fight, I have to turn into an embroidery needle and hide it in his ear. Come on, I am a weapon after all. Every day I listen to him picking out earwax loudly and shouting "Big! Big! Big!". I jumped out of my skin and almost hit my head on Nantianmen. My neighbor Erlangshen always asks me where the pit on my face came from. Can I say that it was caused by my husband's earwax?
The most annoying thing about him is flying on me. Don't you know that his sitting posture is like riding a motorcycle, and he also has his own BGM: "Hey~ drive!" I am a dignified Ruyi Golden Cudgel, don't you want to lose face? One time I deliberately made him smaller, causing him to fall down and chew the mud with a "Ouch" sound. He chased me in the sky and cursed me for three days.
But what do you mean by marrying him? Do you want him to be handsome? Is this what he said back then, "make it smaller"? Shit. It was that day when I was covered in monster blood, and he plunged me into the stream. He squatted next to me, wiped off the stain bit by bit with his furry hands, and muttered: "I've wronged you."
OK. Ears are ears, and flying is flying. Who makes me his Qitian and he my enemy? In this life, the stick is as good as the monkey, and the monkey is as good as the stick. If you dare to lose me, I will fly back to the East China Sea by myself and make you cry!
