The Top Gaokao Scorer Livestreams Pig Farming, and the Whole Internet Begs Me to Stop

I’m Chu Ming, the top scorer on the college entrance exam. All I want is to go back to the countryside and live a simple, unremarkable life raising pigs.

But the whole world thinks I’m crazy.

[While feeding the pigs]

Me: “Guys, this pig’s a little constipated, so I’m giving it some ‘evil god brain matter’ to help it digest.”

Comments: “The streamer’s at it again, LOL!”

Bureau Nine, tipping like crazy: “No! Please don’t feed it anymore! One more bite and it’ll ascend to evil godhood!”

[While slaughtering a pig]

Me: “This year’s pig is just about ready. Nice firm meat. I’m slaughtering it today to make a feast for everyone.”

Supernatural beings all over the world, sobbing: “No! That’s His Excellency the Pig God, whom we all revere! How can you eat him!”

Me, puzzled: “It’s just a pig. Is this really necessary?”

[On a blind date]

My date, a holy maiden from a reclusive clan: “I can feel an imposing aura about you that makes all things submit.”

Me, smiling shyly: “Maybe it’s because I herd pigs every day and smell a little like pig manure.”

The holy maiden, blushing: “Is this the legendary ‘aura of the gods’? How alluring...”

No, I really am just a pig farmer! Why are you all acting like this?!