Transmigration: I'm a Straight Man! Why Am I Marrying a Eunuch?

[Transmigration to an alternate setting + man disguises himself as a woman to marry in another's place + fake eunuch + faked death + second transmigration of the soul + everyone's favorite + entire high school friend group transmigrates together + scheming, dark Xiao Tinglan x innocent, straight Chu Jiuhuan]

His legitimate elder sister ran away from her wedding, so sunny, straight Chu Jiuhuan was forced to take her place in marriage as soon as he transmigrated. He was sent to marry into the Eastern Depot and wed Xiao Tinglan, the mad Ninth Thousand Years whom everyone feared.

Chu Jiuhuan was distraught: I'm straight! How am I supposed to marry the Ninth Thousand Years!?

Rumor had it Xiao Tinglan was sinister, bloodthirsty, cruel, and deranged. Yet after they married, he indulged Chu Jiuhuan in every way and showed him the utmost favoritism.

Chu Jiuhuan was easygoing, assuming Xiao Tinglan was just a cold, aloof brother who had never known love. He had no idea that this ray of sunshine who had stumbled into the abyss had already driven the powerful eunuch, celibate for half his life, utterly mad with desire.

Xiao Tinglan hid all his possessiveness and restraint, quietly losing himself to madness.

Later, unable to hold back any longer, he bent over Chu Jiuhuan and pinned him in place, dark emotions roiling in his eyes:

"Jiuhuan, being just brothers... is too much of a sacrifice for me."

A resilient bottom x an amnesiac top

Classmates who can't find their way home, princes and princesses fighting tooth and nail for what they want,

Court intrigue (nope, nope, nope). This is just a light political scheming story that won't make you think too hard (if you can even call it that).

A little comedy, a little ensemble cast, half-dead protagonists + supporting characters who are only barely alive + villains who refuse to die