The Five Hahas Are Jealous of Me: A Showy Star's Rise to Riches and Adoration

[Hilarious + outrageous antics + female stars chasing him + hoarding every last coin + showing off and acting cool in public + unhinged mind games + sharp-tongued bandit + Five Ha members crying with envy + silly bullet comments]

I was slacking off at my summer job when I got bound to an absurd Emotion System, making all the Five Ha members green with envy!

Deng Chao says: Without him, the laughs would be cut in half! Actually... he's responsible for the other half, too!

Chen He says: I play mind games, but he puts my life on the line! Compared to him, even this old fox is an honest man.

Lu Han says: I wanted to reform him, but he won me over instead! If you want in, get in line!

Villain 1: The company will keep running just fine without you! Me: Without your company, the Earth would spin even faster!

Villain 2: You're so tacky! Me: Is all this dirt enough to bury you?

Villain 3: Young people shouldn't get too cocky! You'll come crashing down! Me: So you must have been quietly eating a lot of salt all these years, huh?

Bullet comments:

"Our family plans to spend three generations studying his vicious comebacks."

"His mouth is a sentient Gatling gun, going rat-a-tat 360 times a minute."

"Why is he so good at showing off? Don't stop me, I'm going onscreen to bite him."

"Are you still hiring leg-hair models? I'm sending in my resume."

"I want to borrow his gift of the gab to heal all the disappointments in my life."