For some reason, I didn't originally plan to write a preface, but I felt vaguely unwilling to do so, and some obscure and unspeakable emotions still needed to be expressed. Because in my memory, for nearly seven years, due to the extreme mood swings, my body would issue various "bad weather warnings" every day like weather forecasts. Almost every day, I would be led by darkness, negativity, sadness, sensitivity, and irritability. When I lost control, I would be explosive. It is extremely powerful and destructive, causing various problems in the body: facial acne, loss of appetite, recurring bronchitis, heart palpitations, trembling hands, anxiety and insomnia, and even painless fantasies about the cause of death. In the end, the number one wish list becomes: I hope to die in the arms of the sea.
"Well, that's best."
I almost immediately changed all of my social media nicknames. The creatures in the ocean would be responsible for destroying me and I would eventually become one with them. Then one day, while I was lying on the wooden floor after taking a slight overdose of cough medicine and sleeping pills, I suddenly thought of that brother. He is braver than me, and I admire and agree with his approach. After all, BE is the ultimate in aesthetics. But in fact, I don't know him well. All the descriptions of him in the novel were created based on my observations when I went back to Xining with my parents to visit relatives in my youth, and through observations during the few interactions I had with him, plus a few words my family members mentioned about him, and I let my mind wander.
He chose to stay at 24 forever. They mourned and accepted his fate. I was secretly proud that I could empathize with him across the distance of time and space.
The "I" in the novel seems like me but not myself, but he is destined to reach the same destination through different paths.
