My Whole Sect Hears My Thoughts, and This Lazy Fish Is Forced to Become Number One

[Cultivation Fantasy + Laid-Back Slacker + Sect Comeback + Dimension-Slapping Commentary + Mind-Reading Golden Finger + Feel-Good Power Fantasy]

Su Ruanruan transmigrates into a book and becomes the youngest apprentice of the weakest sect in the cultivation world, the Yunluo Sect.

The sect has only five people, and every one of them is hopelessly lovesick: her master gives up all his cultivation for his unattainable love; her senior brother digs out his spiritual root for the heroine; her second senior sister jumps off the Myriad Tribulations Cliff for the hero; her third senior brother is drained into a husk by a demoness; and her fourth junior brother gambles away all the sect's cultivation resources.

Su Ruanruan just wants to spend her days taking pills, sunbathing, and waiting for the sect to shut down so she can collect severance pay and leave.

What she doesn't know is that everyone in the sect can hear her every thought loud and clear

[Master, your unattainable love is a ten-thousand-year-old fox spirit disguised as a woman, and he's been draining your yang energy every day! If you keep bringing him medicine, you'll lose your life and vanish from the world in three months!]

Her master, who is holding a spirit pill: His hand shakes, the pill shatters, and he draws his sword.

[Senior Brother is so pitiful. He gave away his spiritual root, and they tossed it aside like trash, then complained that his constitution was impure... What a waste of that Heavenly Spiritual Root. He could have ascended straight to immortality.]

Her senior brother, just about to destroy his own meridians, is so shocked his eyes quake. He enters meditation on the spot and comprehends the true meaning of the sword in three days.

Su Ruanruan spends every day hoping the sect will disband, but when she turns around, her master has become the Immortal Emperor of the age, her senior brother the greatest swordsman in the world, her second senior sister a divine alchemist, her third senior brother the supreme demon lord, and her fourth junior brother the gambling saint of all realms.

And the way they look at Su Ruanruan is as if she's the sect's one and only living ancestor, the pillar holding it up.

Su Ruanruan: ??? I really just want to lie flat!!!