His name is Marcus Rapier, commander-in-chief of Stormwind City's defenses. He runs a strict army and is a master swordsman.
Then one day, the Old Gods actually came knocking.
C'Thun tried to tear him apart with fear, only to get roped into chatting about love and romance all night.
N'Zoth unleashed seven layers of nightmares on him in succession, and he casually turned the seventh layer of hell into a glowing greenhouse.
Y'Shaarj's miasma corrupted everything, but he accepted it with a smile, saying, "Passion burns hotter than rage."
Even Xal'atath, the dagger that could beguile anyone, was defeated by him, because this guy's mind was filled with more "romance" than the Void itself.
Later, the deep sea wrote to ask, "What should I do about my petunia's yellowing leaves?"
After that, the Old Gods sent a congratulatory gift, along with twelve pearls.
And later still, the crack in Stormwind City's northern wall was patched with N'Zoth-brand deep-sea putty.
This isn't a serious epic war saga. It's the story of an irreverent general who, with sincerity, tenderness, a rapier, and countless honey-glazed flatbreads, turned the Old Gods into gardening buddies, pen pals, and advisors on city defenses.
The characters fit together well and the plot progression is interesting. A rare World of Warcraft themed novel that understands the game, is interesting, and has moderate changes [snickering][smirking][snickering][smirking]