Er Dan, the Village Doctor

I transmigrated.

The good news: I got bound to the “Ultimate Villain Training System.” I'm about to punch my way through the retirement home in the Immortal Realm, kick down the kindergarten in the Divine Realm, and become the greatest menace in the Myriad Worlds.

The bad news: I'm an overworked office drone. I've been doing 996 for three years, and all I want to do after transmigrating is sleep.

The System told me to slaughter a village to establish my fearsome reputation. I turned around and organized the villagers into a “New Village Development Cooperative.”

The System told me to seduce the Holy Maiden and lead her astray. I made her a PowerPoint presentation. She packed up and ran off that very night, and now she's the HR director at my company.

The System told me to seize a divine artifact. I found it was great for shredding potatoes, so I opened a “Villain's Private Kitchen” in the Demon King's Castle.

The System finally snapped. “Can't you do anything a villain is supposed to do?!”

I lounged back in my recliner and pointed at the business license on the wall.

“What's the rush? Let me finish this deal first. By the way, I broke down your world-destruction plan for you. Take a look: start by wiping out a mid-sized sect to test the waters, then try to acquire the Heavenly Dao. If that doesn't work, we can always go public through a reverse merger.”

The System stayed silent for an entire day, then finally managed to say:

“...You son of a bitch, you really are a genius.”