[This may be out of date if you read it more than two months from now + the author spends 24 hours a day scrolling Douyin]
A global upheaval begins, and the “Keep a Straight Face National Fortune Arena” appears out of nowhere. Each country is randomly assigned a chosen contestant, and keeping a straight face is the only way to win.
The contestants take turns setting challenges. If your opponent cracks, you win; if they hold it together, you lose.
Before each match, every chosen contestant has 99% of their memories erased. The more matches they win in a row, the more memories they retain.
While other countries choose comedy masters, experts in controlling their expressions, and top straight-face influencers, Dragon Nation selects an ordinary man, Shi An, who spends twenty hours a day scrolling Douyin.
The entire internet despairs: “It’s over! They picked a shut-in who won’t even get a job. There’s no way we can win!”
Until the first match.
A comedian from Sakura Nation pulls out his best material, and the whole arena bursts into laughter. Shi An remains expressionless, his gaze utterly calm.
When it’s Shi An’s turn, a video of a baby frog standing on a hillside and singing “Breaking News Again” plays for the audience.
Three seconds later, Sakura Nation’s contestant is rolling on the floor laughing and forfeits on the spot.
In the second match, the straight-face champion from Beautiful Nation confidently declares victory. But after watching the full, uncut video of Baby Dragon cracking up, the corners of his mouth twitch uncontrollably, and he breaks on the spot.
In the third match, the stone-faced contestant from Hans Nation is known as “the face that hasn’t changed in ten thousand years.” One video of Midousuji licking the ground with his long tongue, and his opponent retches and concedes.
The whole internet erupts:
“Holy crap! So this is our Dragon Nation’s straight-face god?!”
“Other people memorize knowledge, but he memorizes memes? They’re practically written into his DNA!”
“I hereby declare Shi An the internet’s undisputed king of keeping a straight face!”
