Don’t Ask a Girl About Her Past After Dark

I said I was a writer.

None of you believed me, so I don't believe it either.

They all call me a deadbeat, but I'd rather they call me useless.

I always feel like being useless is a little better than being a deadbeat!

You still don't believe me. Why not? [Angry…]

Because you're my readers? Actually, who gives a damn!

If you don't believe me, fine. I'll be just as stubborn as you.

Just be happy.

But I still want to talk about the difference between being useless and being a deadbeat. Being useless only affects yourself. [Sorry, I typed “sex” instead of “deadbeat.” Let me type that again.] A deadbeat affects other people, so being useless is better than being a deadbeat.

Give me this one, and don't argue with me.

Thanks, thank you so much, truly grateful…

I'm a man with dreams. I used to like luxury cars and beautiful women.

Well, I still like them now! [Ha ha]

Doesn't that annoy you? [Heh heh]

Whether you're annoyed is your business. It has nothing to do with me!

I used to have a wife. She was into handsome guys.

She wasn't really at fault. She liked handsome guys, and I just had to not like them.

But…

It was a bit much for her to divorce me for one of them.

This story goes back six months.

That day, I shouldn't have gone home so early.

I interrupted them just as things were getting good, and they didn't get to enjoy themselves.

So I got divorced!

Being divorced is pretty great. I can eat my fill, and no one can tell me what to do!

Back then, I gave up the house and my wife, pfft, I mean my ex-wife!