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I was confused when I saw the description of how I just broke out of my egg and was reborn and then entered a secret realm made of machines.

Not bad, well, it is recommended to optimize the chapter division (꒪Д꒪)ノ. After all, Mark Twain said: Chapter division is extremely important for both the book and the reader.

The subject matter is quite interesting, but I was too tired to read it. The amount of information is huge, and several unfamiliar characters appear at once without introduction. I feel that the author wrote it more for himself, and may not have thought about whether others can understand it. The subject matter is good, but it's a pity.

It's okay. Except for the early stage where the secret realm is a bit confusing, the overall plot flow is okay. However, I haven't seen anything exciting about the fighting so far.

Personally I think it looks good

I like the subject matter, but can I add dividing lines for scene transitions?

The first chapter is a bit disconnected from the rest. I don't know when the progress can be returned to the first chapter.

The writing is also very logical.

It's okay. I feel like it's a bit messy at the front, but overall it's okay.

It looks good, I just wish some places could be written in more detail.

There are too many narrations in the early stage and it seems messy, but at least it can be connected. It can also be seen later that the connection is much smoother. I hope you will continue to work hard.