The History of Yan, Annals of Emperor Gaozong, records: “The emperor was patient and restrained from a young age. When the great clans tried to depose him, he summoned the thunder of the Nine Heavens in the Hall of Supreme Harmony (a Desert Eagle), shattering the golden bricks. The entire court was cowed. This was the beginning of the emperor’s arts of statecraft!”
Li Cheng: “Nonsense! I was just in a hurry to get back to enjoy the beauties of my harem. Those old men wouldn’t stamp the approval, so I just wanted to show them whether my sword was sharp!”
The History of Yan also records: “The emperor had a keen eye for talent. He raised the humble commoner Wei Zhong from the mud, enabling him to sweep away the great clans. He sent the palace eunuch Wang Shouren to guard the borders, creating the Twin Pillars of Great Yan!”
Li Cheng: “Bullshit! I’ve read Memorial on Sending Troops. This is clearly ‘befriend petty men and distance yourself from worthy ministers.’ I was trying to bring down the dynasty!”
The History of Yan further records: “The emperor had no desire for immortality, but the prosperous age flourished, and the people begged the Celestial Emperor to grant His Majesty a thousand more years of life!”
Li Cheng was at his wit’s end.
His original dream had truly been nothing more than to squander the last scraps of this decrepit Great Yan’s national fortune, then take the hundred thousand taels of gold rewarded by the System and return to modern times as a wealthy retiree.
Why did everyone in the realm think he was making some grand, far-reaching plan?
Why did the more he tried to get himself killed, the more prosperous Great Yan’s national fortune became?
“Let it all burn. I’m tired. Bring me my Desert Eagle with unlimited ammo. I’m going on a personal campaign to the grasslands (to get myself killed)!”
