When I was eight, I was sent from the Zhou Dynasty to the Xia Dynasty. I was a princess of Zhou, but became a companion and reader to a princess in Xia.
I thought my days would go on like that: sneaking horseshoe cakes with my friend Ciyuan, and staring into space as I clutched a handkerchief embroidered with half a honeysuckle flower. Then, on the princess's birthday, a young Daoist made a face at me, and I overheard something I was never meant to hear: Ciyuan had been chosen to marry into the Wei Dynasty.
After Ciyuan left, my Daoist master took me to Penglai to seek a magical treasure for the princess. When I returned, I had become a “saintess,” but the Noble Consort named me to be buried with the late empress. To save my life, my master had me marry into the Wei Dynasty in the princess's place, under the identity of a “saintess.”
On the road, bandits attacked us, and a general rescued me. He fell in love at first sight, but I later learned that he was the man who had destroyed my homeland. In Wei, I became the Prince Xuan's secondary consort and bore him a son. Years later, I returned to Xia with an envoy and met the regent, Xu Chong'an. We could not resist our feelings. When I returned home, I discovered I was pregnant with his daughter. Afraid of causing trouble, I sent her away under the name “ill-fated lone star,” and never saw her again.
The Prince Xuan rebelled and seized the throne. To appease the Shangdu royal family, he married Ciyuan and made her empress. By then, I thought I had fallen in love with the Prince Xuan. Ciyuan, who had once held my hand and stood up for me, became my rival. I plotted her death and took the throne as empress. In the year I turned twenty-eight, Wei conquered Xia. I sent the princess into exile in a bitterly cold land and killed Xu Chong'an, the man I had once loved, with my own hands.
After my husband died, I helped my son rule and became the Empress Dowager.
Everyone says I am ruthless and cruel. Yet I still remember Ciyuan, lively and foolish when I first met her at eight, and the graceful princess
