Honghuang: You Asked Me to Be a Mount, So Why Am I Getting Everything for Free?

[Primordial World + System + Lighthearted Comedy + Cunning Protagonist + Wild Imagination] After transmigrating into the Primordial World, Li Xuan finds himself in the body of a green ox. He plans to cling to Laojun and lie low until the end of time, but unexpectedly awakens the [Myriad Worlds Group-Buying System]! The whole Primordial World is turned on its head. At the sermon in the Zixiao Palace, a price-haggling frenzy breaks out! Tongtian clings to Yuanshi's leg and wails, “Second Brother, help me tap this! My Immortal-Slaying Sword is just 0.001 points of spiritual power away from being free!” Beneath the Immortal Slaying Formation, Guangchengzi raises the Heaven-Overturning Seal, ready to strike, when Zhao Gongming shouts, “Fellow Daoist, Please Stay!” Guangchengzi sneers, “Begging won't help you!” Zhao Gongming pulls out a jade slip. “No, can you scan this code first? My deluxe Primordial Golden Dou group buy is almost complete. Help me get one more cut, and I'll let you hit me three times!” On Pingding Mountain in Journey to the West, the Great King Golden Horn holds up his Purple Gold Red Gourd. “Sun Wukong! I dare you to answer when I call your name!” Great Sage Sun pulls a jade slip out of his ear. “Cut the nonsense! My Pangu Axe three-minute trial card is getting clicks from all over the internet. I'm just 0.0001 ingots away from cashing out! Hurry and call Silver Horn over to help me tap it. I'll split half of Tang Monk's flesh with you!” Everyone laughs that I have stirred up the Three Realms, goading powerful beings everywhere into frantically joining group buys for free stuff, all for the sake of jokes and memes. But they don't know that with every free purchase, I secretly mend the Heavenly Dao's tangled karma, calm terrifying tribulations, and try to undo the countless tragedies and regrets of the Primordial World. Laozi warns, “Interfering recklessly with the workings of the Heavenly Dao will bring unpredictable calamity!” I gently offer him a jade slip. “Even a Saint can help get one more cut. One fortuitous opportunity might prevent the slaughter of countless living beings.”