The Slacker Strategist: They Insist I'm a Mastermind

I Spout Nothing but Nonsense, Yet Every Warlord Treats Me Like a God!

Transmigration? System? Golden finger? I’ve got none of them!

Lin Bai, the biggest loafer at the markets in southern Liaoning, lives off his silver tongue, talking his way into free food and drink. That is, until one day he tries to con a warlord who kills without blinking.

To save his own skin, he wipes the cold sweat from his brow and casually makes up an utterly absurd “suicide strategy.”

He thinks, That’s it. I’m done for.

But the next day, a battle report arrives: the enemy commander has been captured, their supply lines destroyed, and the army has won a crushing victory!

The hot-tempered warlord drops to one knee, tears in his eyes. “What genius, sir! You’re like a god descended to earth! Please accept Cao’s bow!”

Lin Bai’s legs nearly give way. “Big brother, get up! I was just making it up!”

“Sir, don’t be modest! I’ve completely grasped your brilliant plans, Cao has!”

“No, what have you grasped?! I don’t even know!”

From then on, a con man who only wants to coast through life and spends every day talking about taking it easy is forced onto the irreversible path of becoming a military strategist.

The more he tries to run, the more fiercely loyal his generals become. The more terrible ideas he comes up with, the more brutally the enemy is defeated.

He has the whole army plant radishes in front of the enemy lines. The enemy assumes it’s some devastating secret attack and doesn’t dare break camp for three days.

As they flee, he casually scatters ten chickens along the road. The greatest workaholic strategist in the land sees feathers everywhere and thinks so hard about what kind of heaven-defying formation it could be that he nearly thinks himself sick, but still can’t figure it out.

Then one day, Lin Bai accidentally unifies the world.

Looking at the assembled ministers, he spreads his hands in resignation. “I’ll say this one last time: I’ve been coasting the whole time. What on earth are you all imagining?!”