She Died That Winter, and He Finally Won the Position of First Assistant

After writing "She Died That Winter", I didn't recover for three days. To be honest, this article is the most sadistic story I have ever written. Although I was very restrained when I wrote it and deleted and changed many scenes, after I finished writing, I naturally couldn't relax my enthusiasm. The original intention of writing this book is actually very simple - I want to write a story about "cost". Many people write abusive articles, and the abuse is caused by misunderstandings, mistakes, and mistakes. But I want to write about a deeper abuse: It's not that fate doesn't let them be together, but that they never have the option of "being together". From the beginning, she was sacrificing and he was in debt. After fourteen years of relying on each other, what they got in the end was a broken lamp, a piece of melted candy, and a snowy night that will never come back. The character Pei Heng is the most heart-wrenching heroine I have ever written. She has no golden fingers, no protagonist aura, and she doesn't even have a good ending. She was just a girl who grew up on the road to escape. Her hands were covered with frostbite, and her fingernails were always filled with dust that could not be washed away. Her most extravagant wish in her life is just to "plant a tree in the yard to enjoy the shade in summer and make a fire in winter." But even such a humble wish was not fulfilled. She died in the Prison Prison on the coldest snowy night. When she died, she held a long-melted candy in her hand - the only sweet she dared to keep for herself in her life. If someone asks me, does Pei Yuan love her? I think this question itself is cruel. The relationship between them can never be summed up by the word "love". She was his life. He had sworn to protect her since he was seven years old, but in the end, he traded her life for power. It wasn't that he didn't want to save her, he was forced into a corner and found that no matter which path he chose, it would be a dead end. He chose the path that "allowed her to live", but she still died in the end. This was the most desperate part - he thought he could protect her by sacrificing himself, but in the end, his sacrifice was meaningless, and her sacrifice was meaningless too. When I wrote the last ending, I sat in front of the computer and froze for a long time. Pei Yuan squatted at the entrance of Broken Hat Alley, took out a candy he had brought with him from his sleeve, and placed it on the stone steps, pretending that she had put it there. At that moment, I truly understood that he would never get out of that snowy night in his life. He would return to that alley every winter for the rest of his life and do the same self-deception. No one is waiting for him, no one is leaving candy for him, he knows everything, but he can't stop. In the process of writing this story, I repeatedly revised many details. Some people will definitely say that Pei Yuan is a "coward". Pei Yuan was indeed a coward. He didn't dare to see his sister, didn't dare to ask about her injury, and didn't dare to overturn the table at the banquet. But perhaps, this is the most real "human" - in the face of power and fear, we are all cowards. The only difference is that some people have the opportunity to atone for their sins, but he doesn't even have the opportunity to atone for his sins. Finally, I want to say that this story is not meant to make readers cry. What I want to write about is a sense of fate with "nowhere to escape" - you try your best, you sacrifice everything, you think you are walking towards the light, but in the end, you find that you have been falling into the abyss. If you feel overwhelmed after reading this, that's right. If after reading this you want to hug the person next to you, that's even more true. This article is dedicated to all those who can't wait for that light in winter. ——Xia Xia On another snowy night