This is a period of youthful regret without redemption or consummation. It is a sadomasochistic relationship that fails both sides. Xu Qing's life has been mired in darkness all year round. She had a rough childhood and was never favored by anyone. The long-term loneliness and grievance made her sensitive and inferior, and extremely lacking in love. After surviving countless gloomy years alone, she met the dazzling and flamboyant Jiang Yubai during her youthful college days.
He broke into her life with tenderness and preference, giving her the warmth and stability she had never had before. This rare tenderness completely made her sink into the darkness. She poured out all her sincerity, trusted her without reservation, carefully cherished this relationship, and regarded the other person as the only light and destination. She devoted herself wholeheartedly, was fully committed to her, and placed all her hopes for the rest of her life on this relationship.
But this relationship has never been equal. She regards it as the light to redeem the rest of her life, but to him, it is just a casual companionship. Tenderness is real, and selfishness and perfunctoryness are also real. During the day and night of getting along, he repeatedly hurt her sincerity and consumed her enthusiasm, hiding secret betrayal and deception. Even if he made mistakes, he had no shame.
Tiny disappointments accumulate layer by layer, trust slowly collapses, and love gradually cools down. They experienced disputes, alienation and reunion, from closeness to silence. There was no fierce quarrel, no formal breakup, just a silent alienation that ended the whole sincere love affair. He briefly warmed her years, and then beat her back to desolation with his own hands. After a heartbeat, only scars were left on her body, and the rest of her life was full of unsolvable regrets.
