What if the Qing Dynasty held a roast session?
Nurhaci would say: “I started my business with thirteen battered suits of armor. Even your shared-bike deposits are better funded.”
Hong Taiji would say: “I changed the country's name, established the Eight Banners, appeased the Mongols, and employed the Han. I worked myself to death on a 996 schedule, only for my six-year-old son to become emperor.”
Dorgon would say: “I served as regent for seven years, then Shunzhi dug up my grave and had my corpse flogged. Who had it worse than me?”
Kangxi would say: “I captured Oboi, put down the Three Feudatories, took Taiwan, and beat the Russians. Then, in my old age, I nearly got driven to my grave by nine sons.”
Yongzheng would say: “I slept only four hours a day and filled the treasury from empty to overflowing, only to be called a usurping tyrant.”
Qianlong would say: “I won ten great military victories and toured Jiangnan six times, only for Heshen to embezzle most of my treasury.”
Cixi would say: “Me... never mind. Go ahead and insult me. I'm getting out of here.”
Three hundred years of the Qing Dynasty, from the White Mountains and Black Waters to the Forbidden City, from thirteen suits of armor to three hundred million mu of territory, from a people struggling to survive to the founding of a republic.
This is neither historical fiction nor a textbook.
With the storytelling of a traditional storyteller, the punchlines of a crosstalk comedian, and a human touch, it treats emperors as people, wars like office politics, and power struggles like business rivalries.
You'll see how Nurhaci used “nothing up his sleeve” tactics to swallow up tribes; how Hong Taiji used marriage alliances to win over the Mongols; how Dorgon went from regent to having his corpse flogged; how Kangxi was driven to a “father's breakdown” by his nine sons; just how much Heshen embezzled; and how Cixi managed to steer a giant ship into disaster.
No showing off, no preaching, no nonsense. Every passage is based on sources, and every line will make you laugh, then sigh.
Open this book
