Me, Naruto the Mascot: The Third Hokage Breaks Down and Begs for Forgiveness

[Konoha's Mascot + Eight Gates + Lighthearted Comedy] After transmigrating into Naruto, he becomes Naruto, the “Demon Fox,” hated and isolated by everyone. Luckily, he binds to the Konoha National Destiny System, which makes his circumstances mirror Konoha's. He chooses the Eight Gates and begins his path as a self-harming mascot. His first mission arrives, and Naruto makes his debut. Age three: A Cloud shinobi leader tries to kidnap someone. He opens the Fourth Gate, the Gate of Pain, and cracks the Third Hokage Monument. The next day: They won't teach him Flying Thunder God, so he opens the Fifth Gate, the Gate of Limit, and cracks the Third Hokage Monument. Age five: Kakashi causes trouble. He opens the Sixth Gate, the Gate of View, and breaks the nose off the Third Hokage Monument. Age seven: He stops Itachi from wiping out the clan. He opens the Sixth Gate, the Gate of View, and brings down the Third Hokage Monument. Age eight: Orochimaru won't behave. He opens the Eight Gates Released Formation, beats Hashirama Senju and Tobirama Senju, and brings down the Fifth Hokage Monument. Age eight and a half: The Tailed Beast won't behave. He opens the Ninth Gate, the Gate of Shukaku, kills the Nine-Tails, and brings down the Fifth Hokage Monument. Age twelve: The Konoha Crush... At last, Konoha obtains a treasure that can convert disasters into thermal energy. And so, the perpetual motion machine begins. Naruto self-harms → disaster strikes Konoha → thermal energy is generated → Nine-Tails Chakra and the Uzumaki Bloodline recover → Naruto self-harms Naruto: “??? You want a perpetual motion machine? Dream on!” “Eight Gates! Open!!!”