My biggest secret is not that I am sick. It was me who fell in love with my illness.
His name is Shen Bozhou.
When I was six years old, my mother locked me in a small dark room. He said in the darkness: "Don't be afraid, I will accompany you."
Since then, he has taken scoldings for me, blocked fists for me, and spent every night I wanted to die for.
We talked all night on chat software.
In one body, in love.
——
But I want to be normal. I want to make friends, I want to go out, I want to have a love that can be seen.
He wouldn't let it. He was paranoid, possessive, and trapped me alone with him.
The quarrels have been going on for more than ten years. Finally, after I met that person in real life, I exploded.
He took my body and parted it for me.
I feel like he is a shackle and the reason why I can never be normal.
I increased the dose of medicine and suppressed him.
——
He really won't come out.
Then my real-life boyfriend also left me.
The room is empty. The world is quiet.
I just discovered that the person who would always respond to me is gone.
I stopped taking the medication. Go back to the place where you were imprisoned as a child. I took out my old phone and sent one message after another to the profile picture that would no longer light up.
He doesn't reply to me.
——
Later I figured it out: he was not crushed to death by drugs.
He heard me say "I want to be normal", so he really made me happy by disappearing.
More than ten years of protection. I said "You are a disease" and cut it out with my own hands.
Now I want to beg him to come back. But he didn't want to.
