Heroes Among the Emperors of China: Wang Mang Has Arrived!

That’s right, Wang Mang: the man who usurped the Han, changed the system, and was wiped out by a meteorite Liu Xiu dropped from the sky.

I ended the Western Han, and I took the blame for the fall of the Xin dynasty. The history books call me a “usurping traitor,” and textbooks say I was a “transmigrator.” In truth, I was just an idealistic bookworm with terrible luck. My army of 420,000 lost to a little over 10,000 men and a meteorite from heaven.

But Fushan is different.

There are no kingdoms to rule here, just Dragon Balls, barriers, and a bunch of emperors who still have to get on with life after dying. Liu Bang, Emperor Gaozu of Han? I’ve met him. Liu Che, Emperor Wu of Han? We’ve talked. Liu Xiu, Emperor Guangwu of Han? We’ve locked eyes. He didn’t attack, and I didn’t talk back, so I suppose we called it a draw. Li Yuan, Emperor Gaozu of Tang? He said my reform plan had “some good ideas.” Ying Zheng, the First Emperor? I still haven’t managed to borrow money from him.

Fushan’s rule of survival is simple: if you don’t know how to get by, you’ll have a miserable time.

So I make stone axes and slings, snack on sunflower seeds, keep a little notebook, and offer information for a fee. Nothing to be ashamed of. Living well, or rather, being dead well, matters more than anything.

You can call me a usurper of the Han, but you can’t deny that here on Fushan, I, Wang Mang, live better than most emperors.

Consultations by appointment, no credit. Short on Dragon Balls? I can put it on your tab.