Dad, Stop Performing Rituals! I Really Don't Believe in Superstition

I transmigrated as the unlucky daughter of the Imperial Observatory’s chief, and from the start, my whole family was sentenced to execution. My father wailed on the execution ground like a boiling kettle, and the executioner’s blade was about to fall.

I looked up at the sky and calculated: with those clouds, wind direction, and humidity, a thunderstorm was sure to hit within three minutes.

So I shouted, “The Thunder God is here! Heaven’s punishment is at hand!” The next second, lightning struck and rain drenched the entire execution ground. The emperor declared me divine on the spot, and the court officials all dropped to their knees.

Actually, I just studied math, physics, and chemistry, and know a little meteorology. You know, the nine years of compulsory education?

I thought I could lie flat from then on, but my father turned out to be a drama queen, dancing around the streets in a Taoist robe and pretending to exorcise demons every day. I grabbed him by the arm. “Dad, stop with the rituals. There are no ghosts or monsters. It’s all just physics. I really don’t believe in superstition!”

A haunted dry well? I blocked the air vent in front of everyone and called it “acoustics.”

Ghost fire claiming lives? I poured sand over it and demonstrated “spontaneous combustion of white phosphorus.”

A stone tortoise weeping blood? I sprayed it with oxalic acid and explained, “The iron ions changed color.”

The capital’s wealthy and powerful begged me to come exorcise their homes. I charged them a fortune for consultations while giving them physics lessons. Cults, immortals, whatever, to me they were all walking KPIs.

Later, the emperor personally issued an edict establishing the “Capital Superstition Investigation Bureau,” appointing me its director, granting me the Imperial Sword, and placing me directly under the royal family.

Everyone in the capital said I was a celestial being sent down to earth. I shook my head, keeping my good deeds to myself:

“To sweep away superstition, only science can make our country prosper!”