Zhang Zibiao, a famous postgraduate entrance exam tutor, dies suddenly on a treadmill and wakes up as a good-for-nothing cultivator who has just been jilted. His spiritual meridians are blocked, his sect is in ruins, and his marriage contract has been torn to shreds in public.
He takes a bite of the Qiaolezi ice cream in his pocket. Its chocolate shell turns into a golden protective aura, while the vanilla filling floods him with violent spiritual energy. The Foundation Establishment bottleneck that had trapped his original body for three years shatters with a bang. The sect leader rushes in and frantically scans the "black mysterious ice," trembling all over. "This is an ancient sacred treasure that resonates with the Great Dao of Yin and Yang!"
Zhang Zibiao looks down at the wrapper. "Isn't this just a two-yuan ice cream?"
His words are interpreted as "the profound truth of the Two-Yuan Dao."
From then on, the ruined sect is renamed the "Cultivation Boot Camp." Morning study starts at six, lights-out is at ten, and anyone who fails gets punished with ten copies of their cultivation manual. The abandoned alchemy workshop becomes the "Heavenly Dao Food Pavilion." A bottle of three-yuan Sprite diluted ten thousand times is priced at one hundred spirit stones. Want the original? Sign a ten-year indenture contract and become a "taste-bud consultant." Spicy strips let good-for-nothings defeat Golden Core cultivators above their level, while Sprite cures century-old hidden injuries in Spirit Transformation cultivators. When he says "I bought it at the supermarket," they imagine it means "the way beyond the world." When he yells "copy it ten times," they revere it as "the Heavenly Tome of Punishment."
His former fiancee, who broke off their engagement, comes to pressure him, only to be crushed by his logic at the negotiating table and sign an affiliation agreement. The party who broke off the engagement becomes his supplier.
Everyone thinks he's unfathomably profound. Only when he sits alone on the mountain at night, chewing on Qiaolezi, does he look less like he's enjoying his food and more like he's chewing on something far away.
"This is pretty good. Though this Sprite isn't cold enough."
