Tales of the Supernatural: As Long as I Don't Get Myself Killed, the Monsters Will Die

“If someone knocks on your door at two in the morning, never answer?”

Lin Chen opened the door without hesitation and grabbed the Skinning Ghost by the hand. “Handsome, your skin is seriously dehydrated. Staying up all night messes with your metabolism. Buy some sunscreen! Get a membership card and it’s 20% off!”

“If you hear crying in the bathroom, pretend you can’t hear it?”

Lin Chen charged in with a mop and slapped the Water Ghost with a “Late-Night Noise Disturbance Citation.” If it didn’t pay up in ghost coins, he’d give it a hands-on makeover right then and there!

“If the neighbor’s brat comes over to borrow sugar, absolutely don’t lend them any?”

Lin Chen shoved over a bowl of zero-sugar activated charcoal and a copy of Fifth-Grade Math: Huanggang Practice Tests. “You took Uncle’s sugar, so you’d better finish this tonight. Otherwise, I’ll have the security guards visit your house every day!”

Viewers around the world were stunned. The higher-ups in the Great Xia Nation summoned a team of experts in the middle of the night and frantically documented the “Lin Chen Guide to Physical Exorcism.”

The Skinning Ghost fled overnight, buying a standing-room ticket. The dorm supervisor was driven into a breakdown, and even the final boss, the landlady, was so furious she had a stroke!

The supernatural beings wailed, “Please! Great Xia, take this real monster back!”

Lin Chen smiled faintly and wiped his boning knife. “What’s the rush? Landlady, it’s time to pay your fire-safety fine!”