I Have a Storybook, but It's a Bit Crooked

My name is Zhou Yi. On the first day I woke up, I was dragged by the big brother of society to dig mountains. When the mountain collapsed, it was discovered that it was Wuzhi Mountain. A monkey jumped out of the mountain? It turns out that just now, I woke up to a book: a story book, grade F. The whole audience laughed like crazy. The grade director patted me and said, "My child, I have wronged you." He pushed me off the stage. I opened the book, and the last page read: Enter the realm of stories, experience a story, and get a reflection. I believed it. Foolish Old Man chiseled the mountain, the mountain collapsed, and Sun Wukong jumped out. The river god fished for gold and silver sticks, and the monkeys shook their heads. Finally, he pulled out three curly hairs and stuffed them into the back of my head - River God, where did you pull the hairs? The seven gourds call me "grandma" every day, and my grandma feeds them chicken manure, which grows as they spit it out. King Silver Horn came to kill him and was knocked over by a bag of sleeping pills. I even took the "Five-Year College Entrance Examination Simulation" eight times in a row, and if I didn't hand in the papers, I would be shot. Helped the sow to deliver eight piglets. The sworn friends in Taoyuan are Penguin, Banana Cat, and Sword and Shield Dog: "I don't want to die in the same year, the same month, and the same day!" The Cowherd went up to the Magpie Bridge during the day, and the Weaver Girl said, "I can't let go during the day." Xu Xian's first reaction when he saw Bai Suzhen was: "Are you an Internet fraud?" The forest ranger got drunk and wanted to shoot at the moon, but his wife took the elixir and flew back to her parents' home. The little girl selling matches said: "Buy a box of matches, you will be happy with two dollars." "Too expensive." She cried and said: "My sister is selling nuclear bombs in the city and has already blown up two islands..." I now have in my hands: the Sun Shooting Bow, Monkey King Hair, seven mini gourd dolls, hallucination matches, and a set of real questions. My goals were simple—win a low-key championship and buy my grandma a new hen. By the way, my name is Monday. My dad said that each word means fewer strokes and it is faster to write. Then he ran away.