Honkai: Star Rail: Marshal, I Didn't Lie

Visual Rating: A- The writing style needs to be improved, and the overall direction is towards the emotional line. The character of the protagonist Hua He is not very stable, and some areas need to be polished. The plot is only a few dozen chapters long, so I can't see anything fishy and needs to be explored further. But as for the writing, I really can't stand it. I'm probably a newbie, so that's understandable. First of all, there is a small problem. The author likes to use "Tao" to mean speaking. People who read the book read quickly and may not feel much about it, but friends who listen to the book are in luck (bushi) What is the way, so and so said, so and so is the way. This problem is easy to occur if you don't pay attention to it, and it is very simple to correct it. You only need to force yourself not to use the word "Tao" and the word "Shuo". Instead, use actions, expressions, demeanor, inner activities, psychological descriptions, etc. Instead. If there is nothing to write about, just don't write it. Through the content of the dialogue, the audience will automatically match who said this and who said it (but it is best to use one sentence per person, otherwise it is still easy to distinguish) The following is a modification case. (Chapter 37) "Hey, what do you think of this dress?" Zhijian fiddled with the palace clothes on her body, holding pink and rouge (actually cosmetics) in her hand, thinking that this is no different from painting Yan dolls (well, I don't know how to make figures, and we don't know what it is about). Hua's face was covered with black lines. Looking at Zhi Jian, he picked up the powder and painted it on his face. "... I am a marshal, not a princess. Do you think I look good in palace clothes?" "It's just a joke, don't take it seriously... Let's wait until some day to rest and try again." Zhijian put away the "criminal tools" in his hand. Revised rating: B+

It's delicious, not bad 👍 ❤️ ❤️ ❤️, I just hope that the author can develop the emotional line of the male and female protagonists more and improve the strength of the male protagonist, otherwise it will feel a bit weak, and in the end I want to eat sweets but also want to see a knife [smile] 👍 ❤️ In short, the author, keep up the good work! ❤️❤️❤️

Although it looks good, the yellow button on the back really makes me want to escape, but escaping is useless, so I came to urge the update. What a delicious novel! The progress bar is about to reach the end, and the "Update" button is about to appear - but is it really so? (Press pause) Here, please allow me to pay homage to the audience and ask you to take the time to listen to what I see. ⭐Ah, the legendary writer⭐ ❤️The gospel official of words❤️ 💔How long will it take for you to update a new chapter💔 📚Relive history! 📚 🌊Cross the ocean of text and data traffic🌊 ❤️Bring the latest updates right in front of my eyes❤️ 🤫The process of reading your text🤫 🎓Always reminds me of the happy time when I was a teenager studying🎓 🤲🏻If there is a one in ten thousand chance, you can update ten chapters a day🤲🏻 🥰My victory will be certain🥰 🥵In the name of readers, I will invite you to step into the prison of breaking news Hum╯^╰Change your teeth quickly

If you don't understand, why don't you ask the single heroine?

I think it's okay, but the author updates too slowly.

It's really beautiful. The author will update it quickly [please update]

Find some Hua Shangxian novels to replace it

This book is very good, at least for now. I hope this book will prosper.

It's so exciting, Kougua, I read it with the intention of giving it a try, but I didn't expect it to be a good immortal novel 😏 😎

Okay, it looks pretty good. The author must continue to make more updates. Come on [sending my heart]