The Mad Shark Arrives, Crushing the Small-Ball Era!

Tired of centers floating out beyond the three-point line to shoot?

Tired of players falling over at the slightest touch, with no competitive spirit?

Do you miss the era of bruising battles in the paint and blood-soaked clashes?

A towering center, with Kobe’s obsession and Shaq’s powerful physique, has burst onto the scene!

He’s going to crush the Thunder’s three-peat!

Bring the small-ball era to an end!

And shove that player who claims to have destroyed the OK duo between his cheeks and smash the backboard with a dunk!

Some people are growing old, and their stories live on, but a new era has arrived!