Bird Development Diary

I saw her ID photo backstage at Fantasy. Pale and thin. My first reaction was not "this bid meets the requirements", but "this person can't stand in the rain anymore". I put a mark on her, saying it is a rule; feeding her, saying it is training; holding her when she cries, saying it is the owner's responsibility. I spent the whole autumn lying to myself. It's domestication, it's control, it's putting a wet bird in a safe cage. I'm afraid that I'm not gentle enough, I'm afraid that she will leave, I'm afraid that I'll lose control. Later, she took those things out of the cabinet, held up my chin, and said, "I've held it in for so long. I'm sorry for you, Master Xiaoxue." She called me Master Xiaoxue. Those four words are not punishment, but forgiveness. It turns out I never wanted to be the master. I just don't know how to be a lover. I sold myself. I signed fourteen names on the contract, thinking that what was waiting for me was... When she put the mark on me, she said, "This is my qualification to be gentle to you." She asked me to raise my head and open my mouth to receive food, but never asked me to lower my head to accept charity. I thought I was just a pet. But she wrote in her diary. "I didn't fall in love with a patient, it was just that my lover was sick." It took her a whole autumn to bring me into this body, and it took me a lifetime to devote my love to her. She cried. Her hands were shaking in front of me, her explanation was incoherent, and she was as panicked as a student who was on stage for the first time. That was the first time she showed me her clumsiness. I fixed the word "master" and gave it back to her. Then she gave it back to me. I love her