My dad was a doctor from Tsinghua University, but he committed suicide
When Xia Zhi was thirty-two years old, he wrote a book. Write about his father Xia Yun.
When Xia Zhi turned eighteen, Xia Yun left. There was no suicide note, only a three-line letter: "Xiao Zhi, you are not my continuation, you are yourself, grow up well."
Looking back doesn't mean you don't want to go back, it means you can't go back. If you go back, you won't be able to leave.