Riddled with Ailments, I Make the Top Streamer Cry from the Start

After I was reborn, I inherited a whole family's worth of chronic illnesses.

Hemorrhoids are S-rank, athlete's foot is A-rank, and migraines are SSR.

The top-ranked fighter smirked as he blocked the door.

A System pop-up appeared: Malice detected. Exchange ailments?

The strongest man in school clutched his backside and crouched on the arena. I pulled over a stool and took out some melon seeds. “Hemorrhoids are no fun when they flare up. I warned you!”

At the provincial tournament, a reversal of his sense of direction made a swordsmanship prodigy fall off the arena by himself. Lying on the ground, he stared at his hands and said, “My hands aren't listening to my brain.”

At the national tournament, a short circuit in the spiritual energy pathways made the top healer hit me with a blast of holy light, curing my back injury.

At the world tournament, a complete loss of presence made the gravity controller kneel on the arena. “Am I still alive?”

“Yep. The laws of physics have temporarily blocked you.”

In the final, I wiped the blood from the corner of my mouth. Behind me, the void shattered.

No one knew which ailment I'd just exchanged. I didn't look at the System pop-up.

And no one knew that in the school infirmary, she took off her glasses and tucked them into the lining of the medical record folder. “The prescription is wrong.”

I turned to look at her.

She leaned against the hospital bed, holding that old medical record.

The first page said “occasional premature heartbeat.” On the last page, she'd crossed out three words and replaced them with three others.