A Ridiculous Cheat That Makes Me Shine People's Shoes

[The Number One Shoe-Shiner in the Shit World] [Recommended for listening (˶ｰ`֊´ｰ)]

[The author has gone mad. This book is ridiculously silly, and I'm not responsible if you laugh yourself to death.]

I'm Chen Good-for-Nothing, a failed web-novel author.

After writing power fantasies for three years, I realized one thing: all a protagonist needs is a cheat.

So I gave myself one.

Boom! My golden finger arrived: my index finger turned shit-yellow. Whatever it touched changed, and the smell could knock you out.

Side effect: Whenever someone orders me to “polish their shoes,” I crouch down against my will and turn their shoes into... well, you know.

Thanks to this “golden finger,” I end up polishing shoes against my will, fighting when I choose, winning races, recruiting teammates, and joining an association. I rise from an F-rank nobody to the top.

I discover that shitification can absorb heavy metals, lightning can restore anything, and writing can reprogram and transform things...

This isn't a golden finger, it's a walking purifier.

Mutant nests, pollution zones across the country, underground wars between superpowered people, relics of a pre-civilization...

When everyone wants to steal my power, all I want to say is:

“Don't order me to polish your shoes, or I'll turn your whole body yellow.”

This is the grossest golden finger in history, and the only one capable of saving the world.

Failed author Chen Good-for-Nothing, online and ready to polish shoes.

(Friendly reminder: Please don't eat while reading.)