Ye Lan, a woman who was pressed to the ground and rubbed by fate but wanted to raise her head until death.
She is the best at drawing among the athletes, the wildest at dancing among the art students, the best at fighting among the dancers, and the most aesthetically savvy among the boxers - she is good at everything but not good at anything. But that's not important. The important thing is that she always believes in one thing: those who engage in art must first make themselves crazy before they can make others crazy for you.
But the reality is——
She has a face that makes people want to bully her. Too soft. So good. Too much like the kind of unlucky guy who is pushed to the ground and rubbed repeatedly by life and can only say "I'm sorry."
She wants to become stronger. Want to be cruel. I want to be the kind of person who just stands there and makes people afraid to make mistakes.
But becoming stronger was far more disgusting than she imagined.
She had to stare at the double chin in the mirror to practice her neck strength; she had to practice phonetic symbols while others were browsing their phones until her lips were numb; she had to memorize the tablet drawing technique of "withdraw two fingers and recover with three fingers" into muscle memory; she had to tell herself over and over again - don't underestimate yourself and don't overestimate human nature.
This is not a book that teaches you "how to be successful."
This is the process of a woman tearing her body, will, ambition, aesthetics, physical ability, language, and emotions into pieces, kneading them to pieces, and then kneading them back together again. She carves herself as a work of art, using the clumsiest method, the cruelest hands, sweating the most, and suffering the most losses.
She also breaks down. I also want to lie down. I would also stare at the ceiling late at night and ask myself: What the hell am I insisting on?
The answer is: she doesn't know. All she knew was that it would hurt even more if she stopped.
This book is a war she wrote to herself
