My name is Ayu, a young man born in the southern countryside in 2006.
His parents divorced when he was young, and his grandmother died young. He lived with his grandfather in a leaky mud house and wore relatives' old clothes when he was growing up. My father was absent for many years, and when he returned he was only beaten and denied. The indifference of my native family, the prejudice of relatives, and the unguided path to study made my youth a muddy journey full of regrets.
I was born with extraordinary talent in games. I love games and aspire to be a game blogger, but I have been repeatedly suppressed by my family. Two young and sincere relationships also ended unfortunately amid the obstacles of reality and family. From failing the high school entrance examination to enrolling in a vocational high school, to struggling to survive in junior college, to being misdiagnosed during a physical examination when joining the army, to continuing to make game videos while working part-time, I stumbled along the way and was never treated gently by fate.
After half a life full of scars, I often fantasize late at night: If I become a father in the future, I will be gentle, tolerant, respectful, support my child's love, understand his heartbeat, and never let him repeat the loneliness and grievances I experienced when I was young.
This is my growth and a redemption of reconciliation with my past self.
