Bungo Stray Dogs: My Childhood Friend Is My Nephew?!

No-couple story (if there is a pairing, it will probably be Dazai Osamu), with a massive OOC warning! A funny, everyday story about Edogawa Ranpo and family, with a female lead whose brain is a little scrambled. Edogawa Ranpo: Mom, when I grow up, I want to be with Shouchu forever! Ranpo’s Mom: ...? (Grabs a broom.) Edogawa Shouchu: (Laughs mercilessly) Nephew, I’m your aunt. Edogawa Ranpo: (Heartbroken) I’m not talking to you for a whole month! Edogawa Shouchu: (Flies back home the next day.) Edogawa Ranpo: ...? Did you just make that happen by saying it? Ranpo’s Mom: Little one, you still have a long road ahead of you... (With a solemn expression.) Edogawa Ranpo: Aaaah!!! I want Auntie!!! Edogawa Shouchu: (Activates her ability.) Mori Ougai and Fukuzawa Yukichi: What do you mean, a door you can’t leave through unless you’re mutually in love? Everyone: What do you mean, the door isn’t locked? (An example scene) Edogawa Shouchu: Hey, little brother, I heard you don’t have a girlfriend. Dazai Osamu: ...? (He’s usually the one making bold advances, often inviting women to die with him, but he’s never been on the receiving end of a straightforward confession. Most confessions he’s gotten were things like love letters.) Edogawa Shouchu: If you don’t, how about giving me a chance? (She flicks her hair back, imagining herself looking dashing.) Dazai Osamu: Don’t... mess with me like that... (Pure-hearted Dazai.) Edogawa Shouchu: (Reaches out to touch Dazai Osamu’s abs, wearing the expression of a lecher.) Dazai Osamu: Help! I’m being molested!!! (This story is mainly to make it up to Ranpo from the parallel-world story An Unusual Edogawa Ranpo... Don’t worry about the rest.)