Lin Shutong had three goals in life: first, lie flat in peace; second, eat, drink, and wait for death; third, be a wealthy nobody whom no one noticed in the Forbidden City. As a newly arrived palace lady, she came from an ordinary family and was pretty enough, but not stunning. Even standing in a crowd, she could not get close enough to touch the hem of the emperor’s robe.
Lin Shutong was perfectly happy with that.
Just as she thought she could quietly coast until she turned twenty-five, then leave the palace and retire, something unexpected happened.
While feeding the fish in the imperial garden, she accidentally overheard an earth-shattering secret between Consort Jing and a powerful minister from the previous dynasty.
Lin Shutong: “…” Her pupils shook.
To silence her, Consort Jing pushed her into the spotlight, hoping to use the emperor’s hand to get rid of her.
To stay alive, Lin Shutong was forced to launch her career as a drama queen.
From then on, the harem had one more woman with a very unusual style:
When summoned to the emperor’s bedchamber, she tearfully told him, “Your concubine is as humble as a willow branch. I fear I would sully Your Majesty’s eyes. I only wish to keep you company and grind ink for you through the night.”
(Inner monologue: Go on, go on! Don’t keep me from sleeping!)
When competing for favor, she “accidentally” spilled a freshly made ginseng chicken soup all over her rival, who was dressed to the nines, then fell to her knees with tears in her eyes. “Please don’t blame me, Sister. Your concubine is just too clumsy.”
(Inner monologue: That’ll teach you to try to take my newly bestowed Jiangnan pastries! Hmph!)
Everyone thought Lady Lin was indifferent to fame and fortune, and never fought with anyone. Only the emperor, the sovereign of all under heaven, saw the “KPI” she wrote in her sleep every night: “Today’s tasks: evade Consort Jing (1/1), turn down the emperor (1/1), sneak some almond milk pudding from the imperial kitchen (1/1),
