The System Makes Me Live Off Women, Fairies, Please Calm Down

I transmigrated into the cultivation world as a famous good-for-nothing and got bound to the [Immortal Dao Live-In Son-in-Law System]. My mission: become the live-in son-in-law of various fairies. I could become an immortal just by living off their wealth.

I, Lin Xiao, refuse without hesitation. “Live off a woman? Even a dog wouldn’t do that! I’ll make it on my own!”

The System: “Task refused. Punishment: Charm +999. All women’s favorability toward you is forcibly locked at ‘love at first sight, never forgotten.’”

From then on, the cultivation world takes a bizarre turn.

A cold sword saintess blocks my path, her ears red. “Daoist Lin, m-my natal sword says it wants to become your Dao companion...”

The young mistress of the fox clan bristles, her tails puffed up. “Human, there’s something about you that makes me want to throw myself at you!”

The demonic female emperor besieges the city, just to snatch me away and make me her consort.

I desperately explain, “Fairies, please calm down! I’m really not a playboy! The System is forcing me!”

Then one day, the Goddess of the Ninth Heaven descends, and the Jade Emperor issues an imperial decree arranging our marriage. The System presents its ultimate mission:

[Option A: Accept the arranged marriage and become the Immortal Realm’s royal son-in-law. Enjoy an easy, victorious life.]

[Option B: Refuse the marriage and loudly declare, ‘I want them all!’ Reward: a full Immortal Realm manhunt package.]

I look at the murderous army of fairies behind me, then at the ethereal goddess before me, and burst into tears.

“System... Can I choose Option C: ascend on the spot?”

[This is a funny cultivation story about a man who wanted to make it on his own, but was forced by the System into becoming irresistible to everyone. Now he must survive the chaotic battlefields of rival fairies with all kinds of outrageous tricks.]