In the Great Yan dynasty, the imperial examinations were the only path to advancement, and Cuo Ergou was the most notorious good-for-nothing examinee in all of Qingzhou Prefecture. Ten years as a licentiate, three years as a county scholar, and he still couldn’t recite the Analects in full. His handwriting was worse than a dog’s pawprints. Even the examiners had to sigh: “A dog could write more neatly than you!”
While others studied by lamplight, he loitered in a corner. While they pored over the eight-legged essay format, he researched which shop made the best buns, with the thinnest skins and the most filling. While they tortured themselves to study for the exams, he went straight to sleep, dreaming about braised pork.
Everyone mocked him: “Cuo Ergou, you’ll never pass the provincial exams in your life. You might as well go home and sell buns!”
Ergou just grinned and gave up trying altogether. “What’s so great about passing the exams? Isn’t it better to scrape by as a scholar and eat for free?”
But fate had a huge joke in store. He blindly guessed the exam questions right, and the examiners mistook his crooked essay for a “refreshingly plain new style.” They even interpreted the characters he’d left out as “an artful use of negative space.”
Just like that, the good-for-nothing Ergou somehow went from licentiate to county scholar, then to provincial graduate, and eventually set his sights on the top scholar title.
The court was shaken, and the other candidates were devastated. “How is this fair? He can’t even remember the format of an eight-legged essay!”
Ergou scratched his head, looking completely innocent. “I don’t know either. Maybe the examiners need glasses?”
And so began the most absurd comeback in the history of the Great Yan examinations! A slacker can become the top scholar, and a foodie can rise to the imperial court. Watch how the good-for-nothing Cuo Ergou coasts to victory with luck (and a little cleverness), leaving everyone in stitches!
