Gu Changyuan transmigrates to the Qin Dynasty, where he becomes a down-and-out Confucian scholar who is always preaching "benevolence, righteousness, morality, and virtue."
He never expected that the First Emperor, Ying Zheng, would be able to hear his thoughts!
At court, a great Confucian scholar loudly declares, "Harmony is the most precious thing."
On the surface, Gu Changyuan nods in agreement.
But inside, he roars, "Exactly! Scatter their ashes to the winds, and we'll finally have peace!"
Ying Zheng's eyelids twitch as he listens. He is just about to punish this troublemaker when he discovers the boy is actually serious!
Gu Changyuan secretly establishes the Embroidered Uniform Guard and turns the Analects into a manual for physically sending people to the next world.
"The Master does not speak of strange forces or spirits" means using brute force to beat Xu Fu senseless for pretending to be a sorcerer.
"Since you have come, make yourselves at home" means that since you have come, you might as well all be buried here!
From burying the remnants of the six kingdoms alive to sending the Snow Dragon Cavalry trampling through the Xiongnu, Gu Changyuan deals out the deadliest blows in the gentlest tone.
Just as Gu Changyuan draws his long sword, ready to cross the ocean and teach the Romans a thing or two about Confucian rules, Ying Zheng clings to him and cries out in despair, "Aiqing Gu, calm down! There's no room left on the map of the Qin Empire. If you kill any more people, there'll be no one left!"
Gu Changyuan produces a world map and smiles with scholarly grace.
"Your Majesty, you're thinking too small. Hasn't this Blue Star always been the Qin Empire's backyard since time immemorial?"
