Bai Xiaohe, a 996 programmer, works himself to death from overtime. When he wakes up, he finds he’s become a cannon-fodder little immortal boy in a xianxia novel, with a survival chance of just 0.03%.
System: Please cultivate diligently and ascend in three years.
Bai Xiaohe: No way. I worked myself to death in my last life.
System: ...Then wait to die.
Bai Xiaohe: I’ve already died once. I’m not scared.
So he starts slacking off in the heavenly realm, lying around in the sun, eating potato chips, and drinking milk tea.
Then he accidentally activates the ancient cultivation art, the Fish-Slacking Mind Method: the less effort he puts in, the faster his cultivation improves.
Shen Du, the God of War of the heavenly realm and the strongest in the Three Realms, has severe social anxiety and social skills hovering around zero.
Every day, he passes by Bai Xiaohe’s cloud with a blank expression, while his mind goes wild with running commentary:
(He gave me chips! Does he like me?!)
Bai Xiaohe applies modern workplace thinking in the heavenly realm, reforming KPIs, stamping out cutthroat competition, and promoting afternoon tea.
He turns the God of War’s palace from a “workaholic concentration camp” into “the Heavenly Court’s Number One Retirement Home,” and its combat strength somehow shoots to number one.
Negotiations with the demon realm? Bai Xiaohe brings out the Three Realms Labor Law and a “bargain-hunting, one-ax-at-a-time” strategy, and the Demon King breaks down on the spot.
A heavenly tribulation? Ten lightning rods and “Good Luck Is Here” playing in the background, and not one of the nine bolts hits.
An invasion from the demon realm? Labor contracts, social insurance, housing funds, and two days off a week, and a hundred thousand demon troops defect en masse.
Shen Du goes from the ultimate push and pull of “Mm,” “Oh,” and “Okay” to confessing in public:
“Five words: I like you, idiot.”
Bai Xiaohe: That’s six words!
Shen Du: ... (He kisses him.)
