Yuanbao awakens from the primordial chaos. His father is in seclusion inside a cocoon of light, and the only one by his side is a talking little ball.
Chasing a beam of light, he tumbles into the Three Realms. The Black and White Impermanence come to claim his soul? He simply slings their soul-catching rope around his waist as a toy. The Book of Life and Death says whoever is written down must die? He grabs a brush and turns everyone's date of death into a bunch of circles.
The King of Hell is so furious he spits blood, and a hundred thousand ghost soldiers chase Yuanbao all over the world.
When he runs to Flower Fruit Mountain, the Great Sage Equal to Heaven scares them all off with a single roar.
“Kid, come with me!”
From then on, the Three Realms have a new little menace.
Stealing peaches, kidnapping fairies, kicking Yang Jian, wreaking havoc at Lingshan. Other troublemakers run away once they're done, but after making a mess, he turns around and asks, “Was that fun? Want to do it again?”
But one day, the girl in white who smiled at him and called him by name dissolves in his arms.
Yuanbao says, “I'm done smiling. Every last one of you is going to join her in the grave.”
A thousand years later, a young man emerges from the depths of chaos. Seven older sisters stand behind him, and a strange beast wreathed in lightning is at his feet. In his arms is a dusty gray metal ball, the one his father gave him when he was three, saying, “It will keep you company.”
The Sages of the Three Realms stand ready for battle.
Yuanbao glances at them.
“By the time my father gets here, you'd better have your last words ready.”
This isn't a story about a mischievous kid kicking the Journey to the West to pieces.
It's the story of a kid the world knocked down, who got back up and kicked the world to pieces.
