Aliens say they will format the solar system in fifty years.
When mankind was in despair, I, a librarian, unlocked the backend code of the universe.
They had an interdimensional fleet, and I turned down the speed of light with my backhand, turning their Star Destroyer Cannon into a flashlight.
They had a singularity bomb, and I temporarily modified the gravitational constant to make the black hole "constipated" on the spot.
Facing the attack of dimensionality reduction, the only way for all mankind to survive is to let me turn physics into magic!
"Report to Zero! Those carbon-based monkeys on Earth have made our weapons 'theoretically feasible but practically ineffective' again!"
