Also titled: The Overworked Goddess: My Boss Has KPI Anxiety
After working overtime until three in the morning under the 996 schedule, I staggered into a temple and knelt down to complain:
“Goddess, you show mercy to all living beings. Why can’t you show some to me?”
The white jade statue rolled her eyes right then and there.
“I have KPIs to meet too, you know?!”
I was stunned.
So even gods have performance reviews, compete for rankings, and get their pay docked when believers make ridiculous wishes.
I made a wish: “Please help me find love.”
She grumbled: “You complain that one guy is too pale and another is wooden, and you even forget dates you’ve already made. With that attitude, do you think the Matchmaking God can find you someone?”
I made a wish: “Make my boss go bankrupt.”
She broke down: “Last time you wished for the whole company to lose its internet connection. The investigation found your office wiring was outdated! How is that my fault? Complaint filed! Points deducted!”
Watching the goddess look like she was about to cry over her performance review, I had a sudden idea.
“Boss, how about I help you boost your KPIs? I’ll take care of your year-end review presentation.”
From then on, I became the first “Wish Optimization Consultant” at the Goddess’s Temple.
Position: Temporary worker.
Perks: Gods’ tangled love and grudges.
Risks: The Celestial Court could delete me as an unauthorized plugin at any moment.
But that’s okay.
After all, what job could possibly be more cutthroat than working for the gods?
Sob. When you find out even the gods are being driven crazy by KPIs, the 996 grind somehow doesn’t seem so unbearable anymore. Am I right?!
