Emperors Through the Ages Watch the Livestream and Teach Me to Be a Tyrant

In the seventeenth year of Chongzhen, Li Zicheng's troops reach the capital, and the Great Ming is on the verge of collapse.

The court officials not only refuse to donate money, but kneel before the throne and declare righteously, “Your Majesty, to spare the million people in the city from the ravages of war, please abdicate and set yourself on fire for the greater good!”

Zhao Yuan, who has just transmigrated as the Chongzhen Emperor, laughs in anger.

You sanctimonious hypocrites, all of you want to welcome a new ruler by stepping over my corpse?

“Ding! The Eternal Emperor livestream has started!”

[Qin Shi Huang] angrily smashes a Carnival gift: “The greater good? My sword is the greater good! Kill them all! I’ll reward you with the Qin Iron Eagle Elite Guards!”

[Zhu Yuanzhang] is so furious he spits blood: “Those rotten, sour scholars! You Zhen, skin them alive and stuff their hides with straw! I’ll send you a modern Gatling gun!”

Watching the furious ancestors in the livestream, Zhao Yuan draws the Son of Heaven's sword and chops off the prime minister's head.

“Worried that scholars across the realm will be disheartened?”

“Then I’ll use the heads of your entire clans to warm their hearts!”

Shut the city gates and unleash the Embroidered Uniform Guard! Anyone with more than ten thousand in property who refuses to hand it over will have ten generations of their family executed! Smash the eggs until the yolks are scattered, and split earthworms lengthwise!

Hong Taiji originally thought he could enter the pass and plunder at will, until Zhao Yuan set up a Maxim machine gun atop the city wall...

Years later, Zhao Yuan gazes at a globe covered in dragon flags. “Ancestors, we’ve reached Rome. Should I send you another rocket?”