“Streamer, my idol is Cao Cao. Burn something for him!”
Faced with relentless taunts from haters, bankrupt streamer Su Chen sighed and pulled a box of ibuprofen from a plastic bag.
“Everyone knows Cao Cao was naturally suspicious. I'll take this medicine first to prove it's not poisoned!”
He swallowed one pill and tossed the rest into the brazier.
The internet went wild: Taking medicine to cure suspicion? That's some flawless logic!
Then came a ding. Cao Cao had really received it, and in return sent a gold coin from the Eastern Han dynasty and the legacy of a Tomb Raider Captain! Su Chen sold them for three million on the spot!
Su Chen saw the light. So this afterlife meme could work like that?!
“Make an offering to Zhuge Liang? No problem. I'll arrange a life-size paper-mache Dongfeng missile! Prime Minister, Dongfeng Express, delivering on its mission!”
“Burn a Red Hare horse for Guan Yu? Second Master, this Harley won't bite. It runs on gas. Twist this handle to go. Get on and break through!”
“Burn a dagger for Jing Ke? Wait, let me cut myself with it first to prove it's not poisoned!”
The livestream descended into utter chaos.
Ancient bigwigs gazed at the cheap modern industrial goods raining down from the heavens, cried that an immortal had answered their prayers, and showered him with national treasures, secret techniques, and imperial fortune! Modern haters were hit with such relentless face-slapping that they quit the internet, while wealthy fans tipped millions to have him burn offerings for them.
Until the national authorities lined up overnight to request a collaboration: “Comrade Su Chen, burn a book about China's modern history of humiliation and a world map for Qin Shi Huang, so His Majesty can conquer Rome ahead of schedule!”
As Qin Shi Huang stared at the globe on the map, he drew his Tai'a Sword and pointed it toward...
