Entertainment: Top-Notch Football Kings Who Have Slept with Each Other

I, Liu Zhengjing, an 18th-tier Internet celebrity who can't even stop the ball. The national team took me as a trump card. The coach said: "You don't have to kick the ball, just run. Run away the defender on the opposite side, and then just kick it." So I ran 4,200 meters in 12 minutes and defeated the Japanese team's three left backs in the half. What's even more outrageous is that the top management of the Football Association gave me an "imperial edict": "When reporters ask you from now on, sometimes you say luck, sometimes you say normal level, sometimes you say it's trivial, and sometimes you say you can't play. Let them guess whether it's true or false." So I started talking nonsense. "How do you get the barb in?" "Tie your shoelaces." "Where's the mid-circle lob?" "Open your feet." "Can you play football?" "No." No one believed it. They say I'm funny, they say I'm unfathomable. The Germans set up a special research team and wrote a fifty-page report with a four-word conclusion: it cannot be classified. The football circle didn't understand, but the entertainment industry came to visit me again - the video of me singing went viral, and my voice and subwoofer had built-in reverberation. He Jiong personally invited me to "Happy Camp". After recording the show, I danced around all day and even ran 10,000 meters at night. The commercial reception was soft, and the variety show was scheduled until next year. The opponent was completely confused: He records shows during the day and plays football at night? Is he a human being? I said I am a human being, but my physical strength is better. They said I was "the trump card of the national team", but I said I was just a lucky internet celebrity. They asked me to say a few more words and I said: "I can't play football." The whole crowd laughed. You see, no one will ever believe the truth. Then what else should I explain? Keep running, keep being confused, keep talking nonsense. Anyway, just win.