Chen Wenhan, a seasoned corporate drone at a major internet company, worked 996 as a “blessing” and 007 as the norm. He died suddenly at two in the morning while fixing a bug.
When he opened his eyes again, he had become a great Tang monk, the Imperial Brother, Jin Chan reborn: Tang Sanzang.
The good news: He came with the Proper Pilgrim Simulator System and a golden finger.
Even better news: He retained all his modern memories and social skills.
The bad news: He was never much of a proper person to begin with.
While other Tang monks chant sutras, meditate, and tremble in fear, what is this holy monk up to?
At Shuangcha Ridge, he doesn’t run or scream. He squats down and settles accounts with General Yin: “If you eat a person, you’ll go hungry for three meals. Keep him around to farm, and the crops he grows in a year will feed you for three months. That’s called sustainable development.”
At the foot of Five Elements Mountain, he doesn’t hurry to remove the seal. First, he hands over a spicy snack stick. “Great Sage, hungry? Let’s talk KPIs and OKRs.”
By the Eagle’s Sorrow Ravine, he doesn’t fight or scold. Instead, he negotiates with the Little White Dragon: “Two options: turn into a horse, and I won’t treat you like one; or stay as you are, but I’ll ride you like one. Your choice.”
When the Guanyin Monastery catches fire, he sits serenely amid the flames and smiles at Elder Jinchi. “Two hundred and seventy years of cultivation. That’s no small feat. I can pretend today never happened.”
On Black Wind Mountain, he talks the Black Bear Spirit into becoming the CEO of an ecological tourism resort. At Gao Village, he gets Zhu Bajie to sign the first “employment contract” of his life. At Yellow Wind Ridge, with a “Heavenly Court Favor Coupon” and a cup of instant coffee, he sweet-talks the Yellow Wind Fiend into becoming the team’s specially hired “wind power engineer.”
This is still the same Journey to the West, with all eighty-one trials intact.
