Bengtie: Happy? This Is Called Joy!

It's very interesting. The characters in the IF line have distinct and full personalities, but the purpose is not obvious. The rhythm is tight. The male protagonist's presence is better than nothing. He has no personality and no purpose. Simply citing the reason for the appearance of an IF line character is too far-fetched and feels fragmented. You can write more slowly, slow down the rhythm, write more about the character and purpose of the male protagonist, add more descriptions about the character's movements and psychological activities, and explain more about the reasons and purposes of the IF line character's appearance. Come on, I believe in you [Like]

It's good to watch, but the plot of the story develops too fast. For example, from the entry of Yaliluo 6 into the planet to the solution of the tyrant Jeppard, it was written in just a few chapters without going into depth. But the if-line character is very individual, and he likes Yi Zhe Jingyuan very much, and writes about Jingyuan's calculation skills and grass-snake gray line layout skills. I hope the author can continue writing.

It's a lot of fun, it's so much fun. I've read so many fanfiction books, and I admit that this one is the best! ! ! [Angry][angry][angry]

How should I put it, the plot is still okay, the AI ​​has been refined and expanded, and except for a few details that may have some problems, everything else is fine. Most of Tomato's books are like this. It can be seen that the problem is not big. The subject matter is okay, but it would be perfect if the author could refine it a little more.

Returning from the dying sky, carrying the embers of fantasy dreams, accompanying Wan Lan, breaking through the fog of the road ahead, until the end, full of intention to leave... The Tuoke who walked back from the dead place kept the star core inside and outside in his heart. But the blazing light could not penetrate the already cold bones and blood. So he protected the road in an instant, and then quietly disappeared before dawn, hoping that the dead ashes would never fall on the people he once cherished... The commander who returned from the ice field performed the most extreme protection. He uses winter as a shield, freezing all fragility and turmoil under the ice. The world only knows him as a barrier that will never collapse, but they don't know that deep in the moraine, there is his original intention that he never dared to let go...; The general who returned from his dream in the desolate place melted the fertile remains and the legacy of the old army into his flesh and blood. Carrying all the guilt and infamy alone, he placed the black stones on the chessboard, invited you to enter the urn, and talked about peace. But at the end of the game, everyone dispersed, the general left, the big trees fell, and he was left alone in the empty city, playing chess with a room full of lonely lights...; The gambler who put everything on the gambling table, step by step, finally reached the pinnacle of power and won "everything" he had dreamed of. But in the end, he was unable to open the door of his past, and he could no longer bathe in the rain called "rebirth". All the support has become a bargaining chip, and the chips will eventually be lost...; The homeless person who walked back from the ruins found himself in the silence. That year, when all the dust settled, only the golden light was left stirring in silence, and only the pair of immortal golden eyes were left, staring quietly at the ending that no one knew in the void... All of them were unfortunate. They used themselves as firewood to light the bell that reversed the outcome, until finally, their souls returned. They are not destined to be exhausted, but they choose to burn themselves to light the way forward for the world behind them. The path he followed was the salvation of living beings, and he also sang a song for the voiceless... An elegy that no one could hear...

The idea of ​​the article and the settings of the if-line characters are very good, but it would be better if more stories about the lower-if-line characters are described. For example, the change of Jie Ge's mentality is written in detail, so that you can better feel the despair of the if-line and make the story less monotonous. And after reading it in one go, I can feel that Jie Ge's part is better but it is not reflected in more detail. The subsequent story is a bit bland. The appearance of the if-line characters seems to be deliberately trying to find trouble for the train. It foreshadows a lot of if-line characters' characteristics and actions. In the end, it is just a fake game for the train crew and then ends in failure [Thinking],

The plot is very good, and the appearance of the If line character's waistcoat is very detailed. However, Jeppard's death during the rescue was a bit sudden, more like a plot kill. If the protagonist can use various sealed vest characters again in the future, I think it will look better, and I think that the vest in the star can be the Sam of the i f line

It's very good to watch. I just hope that the author won't be like other people who were stabbed by the plot because they wrote too fast [face-covering][face-covering][face-covering]

The pace is fast, not draggy, the story of the main line is also very clear, and the character creation is also perfect.

I finished reading it in one go and I thought it was very interesting. But the main story went by too fast. I'm worried about what the author will write next and I won't stop updating it😄

[Like] Aroused my interest

The sense of AI is still too strong The subject matter is still very good. If it were not AI, it might be better.

Among the lF lines, I think there should be Sunday, so I hope there will be Baier later.

After the appraisal, it was a pretty good AI article. I didn't notice it at first, until the word "spiritual energy" appeared in the Bengtie worldview. Where did the Bengtie worldview get the spiritual energy?

Haokan, I can only say Haokan

I went there and it was very awesome. Klass is really good-looking. I really want to see it.

A rare masterpiece, not a harem, not bloody, not crazy.

This book is very good. I feel like the author can apply for a job at MiHoYo. The plot is very dense, but it is a bit lacking. Come on, author, don't stop updating!

The writing is very good and the context is clear, but the pace is too fast. I don't know whether it's because of the lack of writing or the lack of a good outline. It's a very good story.

I really like this book. Although the writing is not particularly good, I love reading it [laughs]

Does it have to be a character? How about a Scott?

More other characters

I personally feel pretty good

Good luck to the author!

The content is very good and the structure is clear and analytical.

The supreme master of wisdom

It looks good, the main character looks a bit villainous

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha This hasn't been updated in a month

The plot develops so fast, but it's not bad

It looks good, but there are still too few updates. I suggest the author burn the relics and update them.